put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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