Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize