I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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