you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
