Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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