just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
