No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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