She's JV to your varsity
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
