she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize