Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I look better un-naked...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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