oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Its about making memories worth repressing
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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