you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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