To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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