Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
