I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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