Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize