yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
