At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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