from now on my penis is your penis
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
