so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
