tell your sister to shave her snatch
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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