I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
