i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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