why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize