dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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