I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
