im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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