What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
