He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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