Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
