Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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