why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
