Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
