So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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