She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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