if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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