when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
