YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
