matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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