he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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