We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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