idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
