Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
