Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she looked like the before picture.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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