I can't watch pbs sober anymore
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
