but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize