dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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