Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
