You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
