dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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