I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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