you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
