Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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