its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize