did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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