I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
