he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize