Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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