you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
