how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
