I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
