are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
