Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize