Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
