lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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