I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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