he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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