I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
