I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
