SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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